Stardust

I get so very easily distracted when there is no one else in the room and I'm in front of my computer. When I don't have motivation, life becomes stardust; but there's so much of it sparkling in every direction I get pulled because I'm not being pulled in one specific direction because there's no time line and then I'm trying to do so many things at once but don't get anything done as a result because of everything I want to do and then I'm not happy. And I get crabby.

And I'm not a morning person, but boy and I am a night-owl, however that is not the lifestyle I want to live when I get my "Monday thru Friday 9-5" job. I'd love to get up, take a shower right away (this wakes me up) which is the equivalent of you probably drinking your coffee right after waking up, get dressed, come upstairs and read the paper, enjoy my breakfast and hopefully the night before I was sly enough to make myself a lunch because I'm not a fan of packing my lunch the day of. And I get to watch the sunrise. Beautiful.
In fact, when I worked for a convenient store and I worked a 6-2 shift, I was up at 4:45 a.m. and I LOVED it because I was able to have the planet to myself for an hour or so.

To those who think I'm not a morning person, I'm not, but when I have a reason to get up at the crack of dawn, whether it's for work, vacation or ice fishing, I'm totally game. You could even wake me up at 3:30 a.m. for ice fishing and I have no complaints and long as I've got all I need out on the lake!

Well, getting back to my point, I'm beyond frustrated today because of the stardust.

I want to do absolutely nothing but relax and enjoy the night now, but I also wanted to do about five different things before I go to bed.

I feel like I can't focus. I have a couple of friends who are awesome at time management. I'm great with it when I'm under pressure and have no choice but to focus. Because I'm getting paid for it... :)
When it comes to my own personal life and have projects I want to take on, I put such big goals in front of my own face and then sometimes I get stuck and I'm not sure when the right time is to speak up because I don't want to be telling everyone what I'm doing and then by the time everyone knows about it, I feel like I'm one of "those" people who gets yielded by a bump in the road, but then I don't know which way to go or who to ask for help from and then the people I told about the project ask me how it's coming, but I have no news because I need more sources to keep my project going. Wow...was that a run-on sentence??? Sheesh! I don't want to ask for help because I don't want people thinking I'm nagging, but I don't want to not "walk the walk" because I do! A few years ago, it was a different story. But you grow up and you realize how fast the clock does tick and how fast life DOES pass you by.

I do my best to never take a single day for grantide. A great friend of mine reminds me of this time and time again and you know who you are.

I am working on a big, big, big project right now and it's something I've never done before. I'm at the point where I feel like I need more resources, but the "big dogs" are busy, yet that doesn't mean I SHOULDN'T ask for help. It's like a game of pull and tug.
This project could take me up to a year to complete. Little by little, I plan on tackling it.

If my stardust wasn't thrown in the air all at once, that would help me. But that is what I do. I want to be like the Peter Shankman of the east coast and the Sarah Evans of the midwest and I want to not only be the change I want to see in the world, I want to help my peers out along the way who aren't just looking for something to fall into their lap.

To the people I've met in real life that I've been following on Twitter and to the few who I'm huge fans of (again, you all know who you are), you are a HUGE inspiration which is why I talk to you as much as I can without over doing it because we all have so many things we want to try and touch and turn to gold while we still have time.

Stardust isn't always a bad thing, but sometimes, social media can be the biggest devil in the world. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE social media. Why do you think I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter (2 accounts for cryin outloud!) and I blog?!

Anywho, stardust makes me happy and it also can make me VERY frustrated. What is a girl to do? Comments and opinions are always welcome! :)