Note: I originally wrote this Friday, Feb 12, but didn't have acccess to internet.
Today, I did the usual. I took Metro Transit from Minneapolis to Apple Valley and took my usual route home. Three quarters of the way home, I looked off to my right and there was the high school I attended.
It’s been just under a decade since I graduated. I’m currently not considering attending a reunion. My class didn’t have a five year reunion. Five years seems like a long time, until you get to the age I’m at.
Where has the time gone and who have I become? The last seven years have been absolutely mind-consuming filled with education, dating, staying up late, attending school functions, making it on my own, living with complete strangers, evolving into an adult , earning an education and the list continues. I’ve learned more lessons in the last year (almost…closer to 10 months) than in the last six years. I consider what other people’s lives consist of, whether it they’re classmates or others my age, what I wonder most is this: are they happy living the American Dream, or have they just been living?
For a while there, I was just living, but I was also enjoying my late nights, going out and being crazy with friends, working to pay the bills, the usual. I was being a college student.
I wondered if I’d ever figure it out when I was young, just what it is I wanted to do for a career. I can’t define an age and here’s why. I went to lunch February 11 with Jenna Bennett and we’re both in the same boat: we’re very happy about our current directions and the people in our lives, however she brought up an interesting statement. You could be 18, 26, 35, or even 55 and the question of “what do I want to do for the rest of my life” will come up. It’s inevitable it seems for those who are willing and daring to achieve everything between letters A through Z.
I saw a tweet about that the other day. People want security and those who want security are possibly the ones who won’t step out of their safety zone; they’ll go safely from A to B to C and won’t go to R if the in between future situations aren’t presented in a promising light. That isn’t to say they can’t achieve their hopeful accomplishments though. When I didn’t know what I wanted, I did this (went from point A to B to C) because that is how I was raised. I learned lessons in between when I decided to step out of what I knew (job security), for whatever reason (dumbest yet best decision I had ever made thus far) and I appreciate what I have now because even though it’s something I wasn’t quite after, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to experience what I’m so excited about waking up to today. Interestingly enough, on February 12, @PaulTTran tweeted an article about “forgetting retirement” and it’s a great article and I think it’s geared toward people who really care about their jobs and will probably never completely walk away from their career. That might be me? Sometimes I’d like to think I’m a rookie philanthropist, yet my feet might consistently be wet.
Everything I just mentioned in that paragraph just might be as true as it gets, as of now, for myself. As for work, I know what I want right now and I talk about my wishful hopes with a few confident mentors of mine who don’t see any reason I can’t do the things I’ve been so hopeful to go after and accomplish.
I will admit this though: I used to just talk the talk. Not such a fan of individuals who do this, so I’ve surrounded myself by go-getters! It feels amazing to be able to now talk about a subject matter, have resources (thank goodness I’m a chatter bug whose not afraid to try new things like Twitter and evolve with it) and then possibly have the option of seeing it come to life.
Those of you who have met me in real life, I can come off as quiet or unsure at first and maybe don’t talk as much as you would think. That’s because I’m taking in that moment, thinking about what I’m going to say and trying to find out who you are (even if I follow you on Twitter), what you do and tie that into your working atmosphere.
Hint: I look up at the ceiling –usually off to my right—as I’m thinking and I don’t want to open my mouth about a subject that I’m not well informed about and that subject just might be your job and what I can learn from you.
I find myself still getting trapped in these situations. It happened at a networking event I attended that I was checking out for the first time called Twin Cities Social Media Underground. I was talking with a Generation X lady (I cannot recall her name) and I was trying to explain a project that I’m working on without completely giving away the idea that I came up with. I was tripping over my own words and I embarrassed myself and all the meanwhile in the conversation, I was thinking “get your words together Rachel!! You’ve lost her attention span!” Ack! That’s the worse feeling in the world: failing to make sense of your words as you’re speaking.
All in all, I’m not just waking up, punching a clock and feeling pointless at my job or my internship or life in general. I’m learning, engaging, retrieving, adapting, evolving, pushing the envelope, thinking outside the box and forming relationships. I’m happy with the progress I’ve made, specifically in the last 10 months and it’s only going to get better.
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